Three Career Advice Tips I’d Have Given My Younger Self

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I received an excellent note from a LinkedIn Editor with a list of trending topics.  First, let me tell you that if you didn’t know it, it’s like I already work at LinkedIn.  I was an early adopter of the LinkedIn Recruiter tool for sourcing talent.  I’ve updated my profile so many times just so that I can receive the “All-Star” award as a stamp of approval.  Every time I give a presentation, I mention LinkedIn as a great way to market yourself.  All of this and I ask nothing in return <he waits with bated breath to hear from them>.  And today, I receive a note from one of the editors that ask me for my opinion on key topics in today’s world …“No, really, I’m okay!  Just give me a moment to compose myself <sniffle>.

Ahem!  Now, where was I?  Oh yeah, one of the topics was advice that I would give my younger self.  My first thought was, “Nothing.  Don’t change a thing.  You don’t live your life worrying about what could have been.  You’ve tried to be a live-in-the-moment type of person.  Do it all again!” But, if I had just gone with that thought, this would have been a very short article and, more importantly, maybe there is something I’m missing by answering so quickly.  In addition, this is an excellent opportunity to think about career redo’s I’ve heard.  And so I thought about it for a while.  And I thought about it some more.  And just when I was going to go back to my original point and end this article, it hit me.  There are at least three things I would tell my younger self as it applies to my career if I had a chance to go back in time and do it all again.  I want to share them with you.  

#1: You can’t please everyone

It seems obvious when you read the statement, but actually, this is a big one for me and took me a long time to learn. During my career, at least one of the adjectives I would use to describe myself is “ambitious.”  In my personal life, I try to set unrealistic goals with unrealistic time frames and then work backward to create a way to achieve them in the original time.  So when a boss would ask me to complete a project with unrealistic time-frames or expectations, I would gladly take them on.  In part, because I was ambitious, but I found out later, a more significant reason was that I was a people pleaser.  I was the person who heard a random gift you wanted and then created an elaborate show to “Tada!” bring you your present.  The smile made me smile.  Accomplishing the impossible and making your boss look good made me happy.  It brought accolades.  What I hadn’t realized was that it also brought me a lot of stress. Over time, I was saying “Yes” more often, taking on bigger and bigger projects, and trying to please more and more people.  In the end, it wasn’t until I hit the figurative wall that I realized I was exhausting myself to make others happy, while I myself was not.

It took hitting rock bottom for me to realize, no matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone.  Once I realized it, I started to “let go” of the things I could not control.  Sure, I want everyone to like me, my book, my articles, my words, my perspective, but in reality, many won’t - and that doesn’t impact my worth.  It just makes me human.  We all want to make the impossible, possible but life doesn’t always work that way, and often it comes at a cost.  So, the first thing I would tell my younger self is, “You can’t please everyone.  Learn that one early.  It will save you a lot of career and personal headaches and heartbreaks.”

#2: You’re going to make mistakes.  That’s a fact.  Give yourself some leeway.

I remember how many steps, hours, days that I would obsess over wanting a career project or outcome to be perfect.  The seeking of perfection even caused me only to choose projects that I thought I would be successful.  If I thought there was a chance I could fail or make a mistake, I sought another path.  Over time, I began to realize that my want not to make mistakes was hurting my development.  I was avoiding taking risks.  I was avoiding the potential of losing.  It took me a long to time to learn the phrase, “You either win or learn.”  It’s essentially the learning mindset mantra.  The most significant growth I’ve had in my career came when there was the biggest chance of “failing,” “losing,” or “making a mistake.” As soon as I acknowledged “failing” was a possibility, I was able to change my mindset.  Even if I didn’t accomplish my goals, I would learn something – and that something would help me the next time I took a career risk.  With this perspective, I was able to process and champion change – personal and professional much faster.  It helped me move to a “learning mindset” quicker.  “Hey younger you, it’s not a mistake; it’s an opportunity to learn.  What did you learn?”

#3: Be bold!

If there is one career conversation that I seem to have over and over with people, is them saying, “I wish I had done” <insert rest of statement here>.  Usually, it was: 

•  “I wished I had asked for a raise sooner.”

• “I wish I would have quit the job I didn’t like sooner.”

• “I wish I would have followed my passions sooner.”

• You get the point…

Most of the conversations revolve around regret from an action NOT taken versus an action taken.  I can point to several moments in my career when this was true.  The moral to this particular story is quite clear – Do more!  Be more! Be bold! Take chances!  Don’t wait! 

Summary

Now, where does that leave us? Oh yeah, it’s June 2021, and we’re giving our past self career advice.  I’m always amazed at the 14-year old that starts a successful business, or the college graduate that grew a business from their dorm room, or the person that didn’t go to college but whose passions drove them to achieve their wildest dreams.  It would be nice if there were a redo button to correct a past mistake, but alas, I have not found one.  So why not make today the day you start achieving your dreams?  You’re worth it!

PS - If I’m being completely honest, I’d probably share some winning lottery numbers, invest in a few stocks quite early, and store up on toilet paper around November 2019.  But that’s normal, right?

Coach Ha-Keem

You’re Worth It!

For more tips, check out my book, “You’re Worth It! Navigating Your Career in Corporate America,” or go to my website, CoachHa-Keem.com